“The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea.” --Baroness Karen Blixen
"Water makes people happy." -Hester Bell ♥
We have seriously been making up for lost time.
After swimming with Noah at his house last Wednesday, we went to the beach with him & his mom on Thursday. Jasmine and Teresa had surf camp and we cheered them on in addition to relaxing & playing on the beach. Ryan & Noah ran around like happy maniacs and also staged Wrestlemania on the sand.
It's been so long since Ryan was last able to wrestle or just be such a careless little boy without having to worry about getting sand in his tubies, ripping the catheter out of his chest by accident or getting some kind of infection. It was lovely to watch them run around playing on the sand and later in the water. It was also amazing to see Teresa and Jasmine out in the water learning how to surf. All these kids have been through so much. It's hard to put into words the feelings I get from watching them all reclaim their childhood.
You can see all of our Surf Camp pics here.
On Friday, we stayed home most of the day and late in the evening, we went to the YMCA for a nice long swim. Ryan must have climbed out of the big pool and jumped back in at least 30-40 times. Even the young lifeguard enjoyed watching him have so much fun. It was priceless. We swam a few "laps" together, mostly me encouraging him to race me to the wall and letting him win 90% of the time. When Jason got out of work, he joined us. I left them together while I swam laps for a while, then Ryan and I left to the dressing room to get ready to leave while Jason swam laps for a bit. We hadn't swam at the Y since before Ry's relapse last year. Jasmine & Teresa stayed home; Teresa didn't want to go swimming and Jasmine has been grounded for a while (despite being allowed to surf; it's slightly complicated).
Yesterday was Saturday and the girls and I went to our first yoga class together at the Y. It was their first yoga class ever. They did really well. It was also my first class in a long time. I want to try to go to one or two yoga classes with them each week. I think it's a good way to re-ground us after the especially tumultuous past year, and a good way for all of us to get/stay in shape. I also think it will help them with their balance if they choose to continue to surf. I started doing yoga when I was 16 and I remember learning how to breathe deeply, relax, do the shoulder stand (something I haven't been able to do in YEARS, lol!) and so much more. I remember how strong it made me feel at 16 and later in my 20's and 30's. It has helped me throughout my life. I hope it will do the same for them. I'm hoping to take Ryan to his first yoga class next week at Yoga House, along with Noah & his mom. I've been reading a book called "Sleepy Little Yoga" to him at night to gently introduce him to it. We go through the poses before he goes to bed. He thinks we're just having fun. At the end, he lies on his back and I tell him to pretend he is sleeping on a cloud like Yoga Baby. I know this book is for really little kids, but he likes it. It's perfect for him right now. Going to an actual lesson at Yoga House is the next step up. I would love to get to the point where we could just do our own yoga sessions at home (Ryan, Teresa, Jasmine & I). I hope to be able to accomplish that.
It's so cool to be able to do this stuff; to be able to just "be normal" and fall into a routine.
I ran errands the rest of the afternoon, until it was time to get ready for "Kids Against Cancer Night" at Irwindale Speedway.
It was our first time at a Nascar race and it was an interesting experience, especially the drag "boat races" at the end of the evening.
There was a celebrity race and an autograph signing session down on the track before the race, followed by racing, racing and more racing. Ryan had a BLAST! It was his first chance to sort of actually experience in real life one of his favorite movies, "Cars." It was fun watching his expressions and hearing what he had to say. He was a little overwhelmed by the crowd on the track before the race, so we went up to the grandstands, where he was much more comfortable and happy. We want thank Candace, Dana and Carlos for spending the evening with us & getting Nascar'd out with us, and we'd like to thank the Michael Hoefflin Foundation for generously inviting us as their guests. You can see all our Nascar pics here.
Today, hopefully our adventures continue with Mater. Stay tuned. We have to keep making up for lost time, especially before school starts at the end of next month.
I want to end by adding one more thing about my post last night... After I vented in the wee hours of the night/early morning, I read an article called "Lesson I have Learned Over Seven Years with Cancer," written by a strong and wise young woman named Jennifer Goodman Linn, who sadly lost her battle with cancer this week. Here is the excerpt that especially resonated with how I was feeling:
"People Have the Best of Intentions and Truly Want to Help and be Supportive.
Yes, there are people who fumble in trying to say the right thing, but on the whole, I have been overwhelmed by how fundamentally caring and supportive people are. Over the years, if I share my situation with them, I am seated in a more comfortable chair at dinner, the chef is brought to my table to review the specifics of my diet regimen and I am bombarded by good will.
People want so badly to help you as they all have friends who have suffered. We are all united in wanting to eradicate this disease. Don’t be so jaded and wrapped up your own situation that you fail to notice the angels that appear in all aspects of your life."
Last night, I was feeling pretty jaded and wrapped up in my own situation. This whole cancer journey is so confusing at times. There are so many emotions involved and sometimes so many twists and turns. Even when it's not you, but instead your kid that has cancer and even when he is doing better.
Here's an excerpt from another article I read earlier this week, called "When Treatment is Done" (it was about breast cancer, but I found it applicable to a variety of settings, including ours, and I took the liberty of changing a couple of words):
"During the long road of cancer treatment most survivors and caregivers count the days and treatments until the journey is over. When that day finally comes, many feel elated. What comes as a surprise for some is that they may also feel concerned, scared, confused, or a host of other unexpected feelings.
With the end of treatment many survivors are told they no longer need to come to the clinic weekly or even monthly. This can be frightening because the visits have become a sort of safety net. Some survivors and caregivers also find they play emotional “catch-up” once treatment is done. While getting through treatment they “shelved” all of the feelings, to just “get through.” When treatment is completed they begin to feel the feelings of everything they’ve been through over the last several months.
Below are some tips for getting through those first days and weeks after treatment ends:
- Survivors do not necessarily feel better the moment treatment ends. A rule of thumb is that survivors and caregivers should allow a month of recovery time for every month the survivor received treatment. So, if your loved one received treatment for a year, it may take a year (or sometimes more) before the he or she feels completely his/herself again."
I have been finding myself playing emotional catch-up for some time now. Sometimes I write posts and don't publish them/go live with them because they are so angry. They might start off happy & positive, but then they take a different turn and I get flustered & shelve them. I am and have been trying to re-establish myself in this world, post-transplant. I might sound like I was the one who went through treatment, instead of Ryan, and I don't mean for it to sound that way. I am speaking strictly from a caregiver's standpoint, specifically as the parent of a young child who went through what Ryan went through.
Anyhow, in addition to making up for lost time, I am still under major emotional construction. Please be patient with me, my friends. ♥ I'm also behind on email and phone calls, but I am working on catching up.
As always, thanks for stopping by.
